This is an excerpt from our book. You can get our book here.
In our work, a question we often encounter is whether our focus on overcoming Cuckolding amounts to kinkshaming. We want to address this concern directly and unequivocally: our goal is not to shame or judge anyone for their sexual interests or practices. Sexual diversity and the exploration of one’s desires in a consensual, adult context is something we fully support and believe in. Everyone has their own unique sexual identity, and when these expressions are healthy, consensual, and fulfilling, they are part of what makes our human experiences rich and varied. However, if they are detrimental to your life, if they cause negative emotions, make you feel depressed, lower your self-worth or control many aspects of your life, then it is a different story. Cuckolding is a fetish that is intertwined with a lot of “taboo” feelings and while some people engage in it in a healthy manner, many others have a very unhealthy relationship to it.
The distinction we aim to draw with this book is specifically towards situations where a fetish or compulsion, such as Cuckolding, begins to exert a controlling influence over one’s life. When an individual feels that their engagement with Cuckolding is no longer a choice but a necessity, it can lead to a range of negative emotions and consequences. This is particularly concerning when feelings of shame, degradation, or a sense of being unworthy or “not enough” become “truths” that a person believes in. It’s in these scenarios that the fetish stops being a source of pleasure and starts to become a source of pain.
Our intention is to reach out to those who find themselves in a struggle with Cuckolding, feeling like it has taken over their lives or negatively impacted their sense of self-worth, relationships, or overall mental health. If Cuckolding is causing distress, leading to feelings of shame, or impacting your life negatively, our aim is to offer support and guidance. We want to help you understand the underlying dynamics of your relationship with Cuckolding and provide you with strategies to regain control, redefine your self-worth, and move towards a healthier sexuality.
It’s important to reiterate: if you are engaging in any fetish, including Cuckolding, in a way that is consensual, enjoyable, and not harming you or others, there’s nothing inherently wrong or unhealthy about that. Our focus is solely on situations where individuals feel trapped, controlled, or harmed by their involvement with Cuckolding.
We’re here to provide a pathway to those who seek it—a way to understand and potentially recalibrate their relationship with Cuckolding. This is about empowerment, healing, and reclaiming control over one’s life and choices. It’s for individuals who feel that Cuckolding has become a destructive force.
In essence, this book and our message is about support, not shame. It’s about recognizing when something that may have once been a source of enjoyment has become a source of distress and offering tools and insights to help navigate that complex terrain. Our ultimate goal is to foster a sense of understanding, control, and healthy sexual expression, whatever that may look like for each individual.
