Readers of our site have asked us to break down how exactly one can change their cuckolding fetish. After all it seems rather interwoven with one’s own sexuality. The truth is that a fetish is not set in stone. Fetishes generally change and develop. Most people who like the cuckolding fetish have not started out with this fetish after all. Most started with simply normal porn, then went to femdom and then made it into this niche. This means there was a path that made them end up there. There is nothing in their DNA that made them be interested in it. We know from research that fetishes can be changed. In that sense it is pretty obvious that yes, cuckolding isn’t a “sentence”, it can absolutely be changed.

We obviously wrote a book that outlines how to do this in detail but you do not need to get it to understand the mechanisms behind how you can get rid of your cuckolding fetish or at least minimize its negative impact on you greatly.

Our approach is based on CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) techniques. It starts with recording what happens to you when you engage in cuckolding for 1-2 weeks:

  • How Do You Feel Before You Engage With It?
  • How Do You Feel During It?
  • How Do You Feel After?

After recording this, you have some information about yourself. You can usually also find clear patterns now. Maybe engagement usually happens around specific times, maybe it usually happens when specific feelings come up. Maybe it happens in response to specific scenarios that you encounter. All this information is key to modify your behavior.

Next you will have to do some introspection. As you now know when, under which circumstances and in response to what situations and feelings the fetish seems to come up in your life, you will then go and look into your personality and past. How did you handle these emotions when you were younger? How did you respond to these scenarios before you engaged with the fetish? What coping strategies did you have outside it. (By the way it’s possible that even right now while cuckolding plays a strong role in your life, you might still have other – maybe healthier or even less healthy – coping mechanisms.)

Equipped with this knowledge you know start slowly adding alternative responses to these feelings. While you will obviously not change this over night, it will slowly help you decrease choosing cuckolding as a response to these scenarios and feelings. Instead you will now slowly move to other options. In our book we have a section called “Take Action” which outlines different ways to do this.

Finally, we also want to mention that we strongly recommend seeking out a licensed therapist. We recommend CBT and if you have access to it a sexual health therapist. In any case we urge you to talk to a licensed professional.


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